Rev Stang= The good Reverend DOKTOR Bill T. Miller (OBE-KOF)...
is the type of SubGenius band that won't ever be a BIG commercial
hit, because HE'S TOO GOOD!!! Normaly, I believe there's a wall
of amps and guitars...the ghost of JIMI HENDRIX. I believe tonite
Rev Bill, will present us with his moments of horror, straight
un-cut...unclean as well.
Friends, Praise the evil DOKTOR BILL T. MILLER!
BTM-King of Slack=
Slackfux Unite! Praise "BOB"-Praise "BOB"-Praise "BOB" Praise "BOB"!
Can we get a HAIL Rev Stang! *Yer gonna burn!*Warning:Danger!*
HAIL Circus Apocolypse and Brother Cleve!
Yes dear friends, this is the anti-muzik portion of the SubGenius
Devival. *LOUDER* Are you ready for a Healing ORGY of anti-muzik
doktor noize? *Warning:Danger*What's NOISE to some people is
music to others*MoreMoreMore*The new number is (617) LICK OBE*
Turn On, Tune In and SLACK OFF!!!!!*Seems like all we ever do is
Eat, Get Stoned and Watch the Tube, man.*
All right first before I can go any further, I must cast the
CIRCLE OF SLACK! In the name of J. R. "BOB" Dobbs, Connie Dobbs
The Right Reverend Ivan Stang, and the true doktor of all doktors...
Jimi Hendrix! and myself the KING OF SLACK......
I CAST THE CIRCLE OF SLACK !!! (with my sacred 3 iron golf club)
MMM...Now you can reap that SLACK, open yer third nostril in peace.
Oh, that CHURCH AIR smells good tonite! *PRAISE "BOB"*
+++++ SLACK...USED SLACK For Sale! Buy NOW, it's SLACK!
Got something for nothing!
Hey, we're just giving it away...who wants some FREE USED SLACK!
Yer very own OBE LP, who actually still owns a turntable?
How 'bout an OBE-KOF CD? Who in the congregation
heard this HEAP OF NOISE? *Warning:Danger* Free Slack, we're
giving it away. I skipped the day when "BOB" was doing that
Super Saleman course, so I'm sorta givin' it away.
Isn't that what we all want ... MORE SLACK?
When I'm not actually out peforming my healing surgery,
I'm working on a special research project, I've been conducting,
about the different types of SUBGENII *"BOB"-"BOB" yiaiiiiii*
Basicly, it comes down to three catagories, and most of you
fall into one of these three or different combinations.
There's the GIMME BOBs *MORE-MORE*
they got their hand out, they want the FREE SLACK!
Then there's the BUY ME BOBs...they're willing to GIVE Slack,
but they want Slack back, but at least they're willin' to
open their wallets and shell it out. *"BOB" will protect YOU!*
Then of course, the incognito survivalists....OR KILL ME BOBs!
All types of these SubGenii have the yearning for SLACK, FROP
and the ALIEN SEX ORGIES!!!!!! *Oh, I luv to be naked*
*Thank you Thighmaster* ...That's what they all really want!
But the GIMME BOBs, they've got their hands out, they want
SOMETHING FOR NOTHING. They think "BOB" is something to
do with SLACKERS or something. They're NON-MEMBERS,
we might be able to get a few of them to empty their
wallets and join up. But MOST of them, have NO CLUE.
BUT we need 'em anyway...On that fateful day X-DAY,
when the NORMALS are all fried in PINK BOY HELL, we need
somebody to pick on. The BOBBIES will come in handy for that.
+++++ Cause X-DAY A-Comin' and the PINKS are BUMMIN'...
Of course, here comes my favorite sort of BOB...The BUY ME BOB!
They've got PRODUCT to SELL, but they are also willing to BUY
PRODUCT! Most of YOU, hopfully fall into this catagory. Even
though back at the SACRED SALES Tables, most people sort of
had their hand out for the FREE SHIT, I didn't see too
many people opening their wallets. Except REVEREND DAVE
here, just opened it right up...bought his SLACK. He knows
where to put his MONEY!
These CONSUMER BOBs are really the BACKBONE of the CHURCH.
They have all the SubGenius Products!!! They have the Revelation X
book, the ORIGINAL "BOB" Book, the "BOB" COMIC Books...Every
morning they get up and they drink out of their "BOB" MUG.
They got their FROP PIPE- Full of Frop! *Yer gonna BURN*
Their pad is a virtual SLACK SHRINE, they even got the
VELVET "BOB" right in the middle with all the other "BOB" goodies.
They even have all the SUBGENIUS DOKTOR BANDS....more than I
can list. Of course OBE, Kings of Feedback, and the classics,
like BROTHER CLEVE- HAIL Brother Cleve, DOKTORS for "BOB"...
Swingin' Love Corpses, DEVO, Negativland and my favorite
DOKTOR of all time....JIMI HENDRIX.
These BUY ME BOBs even bought 'em a 4-track, a cheezy little
Casio Sampler and a dumpy little Guitar and they're makin'
Doktor muzik for "BOB"!!!!!! Reverend Stang even played their
HEAP OF SLACK tape on the HOUR OF SLACK!
(That's another thing WHERE IS THE HOUR OF SLACK in BOSTON?
the closest thing we have is DJ DAD Townsend in MAINE.
We NEED the HOS in BOSTON, that's a whole other rant.) KILL ME!
These BUY ME BOBs are on the INTERNET, they're on that
InfoSupaFekingHIGHway doing their shit man, POSTING
to ALT.SLACK everyday, some kinda SLACK babble.
Got 'em a WEB PAGE and a LINK to the SubSITE of SLACK!
BUT, comes X-DAY they're gonna be at some FASHION DEVIVAL
on X-DAY EVE, with all their fashion BoBs-got 'em a different
T-shirt for everyday.
They'll be hummin' the song...
X-DAY's a-comin' and the PINKS are BUMMIN'
KING OF SLACK=X-Day's A Comin'.wav (111k)
kos.ram in Streaming Real Audio - 28k modem
kos.ra Download DIRECT Real Audio
We need these guys on the X-DAY Saucers, they can be sort of
COURT JESTERS, dancin' around quotin' cute little BOBisms.
We'll raid their collection for our own walls of the saucers.
A few of 'em actually are PURE BRED SUBGENIUS, with their
ACTUAL SUBGENIUS MEMBERSHIP CARD. WHO among US
actually has one of these MEMBERSHIP CARDS????
This is yer TICKET to PLEAZURE, ya think right? Don't count on it!
IF you DON'T have it yer FUKED, with it ya got a CHANCE!
The third type of SUBGENII is the OR KILL ME BOBs. Now there's
a few of 'em here....But you'd NEVER know it. These are the
LOW PROFILE BOBs, these GUYS are ready to lay their ASS
on the line for "BOB". Unshakeable FAITH-Ready to DIE for
their SAVIOR! They even got
TWO membership cards, in
FAKE NAMES, just to make sure that they're INCOGNITO
and nobody is gonna fuk with their sheeeaat on X-DAY!
These guys KNOW that X-DAY is a REALITY! It's NO JOKE
to them. Their sittin' there with one bag full of hard, cold
CASH - another bag full of the BEST FROP and assorted
SEX TOYS.... to pleazure those lovely ALIEN NYMPHOS on
X-ists SAUCERS! *Thank You THIGHMASTER*
(THE MAGICK ELIXER - Toast to "BOB")
++++++ X-Day A-Comin' and the PINKS are BUMMIN'
Sure we all think we're HIP SUBGENII, we got us a
window seat-first class on the pleazure saucers.
You better work hard for yer SLACK.
X-Day A-comin' and them PINKS be BUMMIN'...man.
*We certainly DON'T want to PREACH to People*
The scalpers will be scrambling out there to sell
those over-inflated X-Day saucers tickets.
That 'ole STARK FIST is gonna be slammin' down hard.
...BUT let's just cut to the POINT. I know most of
you want SLACK...BUT what you really want....it's the
ALIEN ORGIES, that get us going right, let's admit it.
*MOAN-GROAN Orgy SOUNDZ*
Many of you may have actually heard when I was abducted
on the way to score some GROATCLUSTER Muchies, years
ago got abducted by the ALIEN NYMPHOS and
my little MINI-DECK there and RECORDED it!
*Insert more-MOAN-GROAN Orgy SOUNDZ*
Actual SOUND OF ALIEN ORGIES in the Pleazure Saucers!
I could just listen to that all nite.
++++++ Turn On, Tune In and SLACK OFF!
ALL of YOU are yearning for the SECOND COMING OF "BOB"...
every morning you get up an say, "Where's "BOB" my Savior?"
Second coming of "BOB" could happen at any time. It's happened
many times as you know....and everytime the anti-bob comes
along and bludgens the fucker to death and he's RESURECTED
and back alive again.
Many of those BOBs have been FALSE BOBs, I've been conducting
research and been trying to find out where the REAL "BOB" is
and who are the BobClones. So far we've found BOB in VEGAS,
with a big 'ole CASINO- he's wheelin' and dealin'-Spin that
roulette wheel, DOUBLE or NOTHIN' for "BOB"!!!!!!!!
In Amsterdam, my friends on tour in a band, swear they fropped
out in a BROTHEL and "BOB" was callin' the shots.
(you know CONNIE is hanging tight really pulling the strings)
There's even a vaugue rumor that EDDIE HASKELL was "BOB"...BUT
I pretty much discounted that.
Really good authority sez that it was "BOB" at the recent
WOODSTOCK Reunion and he was on the hill, big 'ole hill of fukerz,
whipped out two boals of frop-couple GROATCLUSTER candy bars.
Stoned the whole fuckin' hill, MAN!!!!!!
*Seems like all we ever do is EAT, GET STONED and Watch
the TUBE, MAN!*
This is the one I actually BELIEVE...the RESIDENTS EYEBALL-"BOB"!
No sheeeaat, that's "BOB"! The rest of them FALSE BOBs!
WITNESS the CLONE HEAD, I have here...on this VERY STAGE when
I played here with my actual BAND the KINGS OF FEEDBACK,
(I'm here SOLO as the KING OF SLACK).
Under possesion of the anti-bob, I bludgened our SAVIOR,
(with my fave golf club) so he could be resurrected.
At the SLACKFUX DEVIVAL in NEW YORK with
POPE DAVID MEYER,
We bludgened the fucker so bad, that I had to leave the body out
in the gutter in front of the Knitting Factory!
This is all we could salvage and it's a fucking CLONE,
doesn't even deserve to smoke the PIPE!
What are ya gonna do dear friends, but SLACK OFF!
(eve MORE BUY NOW...sales rants)
When STANG comes back out here, stuff some TWENTIES
in his little G-string, you'll get some serious SLACK for that!
JAMs on Kill "BOB" song from OBE-KOF CD
(Complete Lyrics and Sounds HERE!)
full-blown anti-bob possesion and heap of noise.
Rev Stang finally comes out to HEAL/Sicken
the KING OF SLACK and exorcising the anti-bob!
STANG Rants === Let me HEAL this MAN! I'm HEALING HIM!
You're HEALED BROTHER or SICKENED either way...SAVED anyway!
Let's crucify him....Andrew, where's yer nails?
*"BOB" will protect you, IF you send a DOLLAR (or MORE) to:
Post Office BOX 140306, Dallas, Texas 75214*
It doesn't get any SLACKER than this FRIENDS, we got
THE RIGHT HAND OF "BOB" - Reverend Ivan STANG, right here!
Then, MORE STANG, Circus Apocolypse, Cleve and KOS noize!