X-Day Drill VIDEO
alt.slack STANG POSTS

TEXT ONLY...for Delux GRAPHIC
Blowout-Check out...
X Day Drill '96 Reports at SubSITE

From: i.stang@subgenius.com (Rev. Ivan Stang)
Newsgroups: alt.slack

I can't believe I htmled the whole thing... I must be fucking NUTS. And
"WHY," that's what one has to wonder............

The bottom line is, we crossed the bottom line and actually made a few
hundred dollars rather than losing it (!!!), and the ranting that was
recorded was TOP-NOTCH THROUGHOUT (heard on Hours of SLack 536-8) , and my
faith in SubGeniusdom was reaffirmed by the HIGHLY PROFESSIONAL WORK of
Bill T. Miller, who without having to be asked, TOOK THE JOB of
stage-managing and MCing the whole thing, all night both nights, and in
general took more of a load off me than I ever would have expected, PRAISE
THAT DAMN KING OF SLACK, and BUY HIS CD!!!! 

((Seriously -- BUY HIS CD!!! From him or from us, it don't matter.))

AND PRAISE BE to those such as myself and Rev. Miller who would NORMALLY
be fucked up acid-beer addicts or straight-edge ninnies like everybody
else, but INSTEAD choose to STAY BULLDADA-ONLY for the SOLE PURPOSE of
GETTING THE DAMN JOB DONE!!

The only problem is that now, after having mixed the video-audio sound
down to 3 Hours of Slack, and dubbing the Video 8 origs to VHS, I CAN'T
GET MILLER'S LIVING KEYBOARD SAMPLES OUT OF MY HEAD. You know how you get
pop tunes stuck in your brain? Well, Jesus and I are suffering echoes in
our heads of those loops of "WARNING! DANGER!", "YOU GONE BURN!", "Why Do
You Wanna Be Normal?", "Turn On, Tune In, Slack Off" and etc. 


Subject: X-DAY DRILL 96 REPORT Pt.1
Date: 13 Jul 1996 16:44:05 GMT
-- 
Copyright 1996 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian 
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the 
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc. 
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://sunsite.unc.edu/subgenius -- SubSITE of Slack

While driving back to Cleveland from Brushwood on Sunday night, I was
listening to the audio tapes of the Drill on the car tape deck. Just
outside of Warren, Ohio, I had finished hearing a new Papa Joe Mama X-Day
rant, and ejected the cassette to flip it over -- at which point the car
radio automatically kicked in, tuned mostly to static. BUT THROUGH THE
STATIC, I COULD STILL HEAR PAPA JOE MAMA'S VOICE, RANTING ABOUT X-DAY!!!

After a moment of severe cognitive disonance, I realized that it was 9:30
on Sunday night, and I was hearing THE HOUR OF SLACK (#534, X-Day Special)
from the distant WCSB in Cleveland. 

That was how my X-Day Drill weekend ended in 1996.

*****

We're BACK from the X-Day Drill at Brushwood Folklore Center campground in
Sherman, NY; we're burnt, toasted, crisped... NOT from frapping,
unfortunately, but from recording, logging and dubbing, and crucifying and
baptising, and the Drill was from our standpoint a HUGE success -- we made
a little money, we learned what NOT to do on the real X-Day, we captured
TONS of good music and preaching, and we GAVE the BOBBIES and our FELLOW
DOKS their $25 worth, in the form of Slack, violence, pils, naked male and
female flesh, the scourging of Jesus, the Crucifiction of Dobbs, lurking
monsters, and even a Prairie Squid. 

It was in fact SUCH an intense weekend that only about a dozen people were
able to drag themselves out of their hangovers for the 7 AM Sunday morning
Church Services and Simulation Rupture... we KNOW now who takes this stuff
SERIOUSLY, and... it ain't many. 

We are currently in the strenuous process of culling down the 10 hours of
tape into one 2-hour video and oh, maybe the next 3 Hours of Slack,
starting with this week's, #536, and there will be color pictures aplenty
on SubSITE of such wonders as:

The all-nude baptism in the swimming pool, conducted by Jesus and Dr. Legume;
Sister Susie the Floozie having her way with the Prairie Squid;
Dr. Legume mutilating his own FACE;
The Dobbs Effigy burning on a cross in the presence of NHGH, JFK, Satan,
the Greys, and the whole crowd;
The execution of one of my illegitimate wives following my kidnapping; 

and power-packed preaching and music by Rev. Bill T. Miller, The Swinging
Love Corpses, Papa Joe Mama, Susie the Floozie, Andrew the Impaled, St.
@ndrew, JHVH Hates Phred, Rev. Nickie Deathchick, Dr. Dynasoar, Steve
Slack, Sister Tarla Starr, Rev. Pee Kitty, and many many more.

There were free Pils, actual UFO sightings, suspense, nudity, weird
altars, sacrifices, dead folks, tons of sacred Dobbsgood for sale and ALL
TOLD, IT WAS A BLAST!!

*********

That was the intro to this week's HOUR OF SLACK. The above and the below
will eventually all boil down into the illustrated SubSITE promo
multimedia version, the propaganda barrage designed to make sure we get
thrice as many people in '97. In the meantime, I'm mixing the audio onto
Hours of Slack, and preparing to mix the video down to one main sellable
tape. Jesus is rendering bits and pieces into TrueSpeech.

BUT UNTIL THEN, I know that some of the participants are gonna want copies
of THEIR RANTS on video. Those tapes came out JUST FINE (for Video 8) and
I have broken the footage down into FIVE VHS TAPES which may be easily
duplicated for anybody who wants 'em. 

CORRECTION: Only the first 4 tapes are available to the public. Video 5 is
the footage of the 7:00 am Sunday Service, which was attended by only 14
or 15 people. ONLY THOSE ATTENDEES, those who bothered to drag their butts
out of their tents so early, may cop copies of that tape. (Their names are
in the Book of Life so don't try to fake me out.) That fifth tape is the
only one that actually contains any Church secrets, and unless you were
there, YOU AIN'T EARNED 'EM YET -- and that goes for all the drop-outs and
no-shows, such as Dr. Legume, Philo, Papa Joe, etc. IF YOU COULDN'T BE
BOTHERED TO GET OUT OF BED FOR X-DAY, THEN YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW THE
NEWLY DISCOVERED PUNCHLINE TO DOBBS' MOST FAMOUS SAYING. 


HOW TO GET THE TAPES:

When this is all edited down to a 2-hour tape, we'll sell that. In the
meantime, the four available uncut tapes are gettable thusly:

Send EITHER $20 per tape, OR blank videotapes and STAMPED (probably $3 in
the U.S., $10 outside U.S.) self-addressed puffy fat envelopes AND $5 per
tape for my personal effort in dubbing and keeping track of all this
artistry and garbage. Most of you will only want the tape you're on. Some
of you may want all tape containing nude footage of the gorgeous naked
SubGenius babes and/or bubs, in which case you'll need all four. The
nakidity will probably be semi-chopped from the final edited commercial
version. So get the jack-off material while you still can. 

X-DAY DRILL 96 Video Logs:
((NOTE: these logs were written for me, not you. The little ** codes and
various other marks are to guide me in grabbing frames for SubSITE
illustration and/or TrueSpeech audio webproduction. The motion picture
technical term "CU" means "close up"; "bg" means "background".))  I cannot
predict when the 2-hour final best-of edit will happen. 

**************

VIDEO ONE

ARRIVALS
The Dallas Contingent arrives in Dobbsmobile, blasted on antisleep
Legume enters cabin HQ with Dobbs Effigy * ... Jesus kisses Dobbs 
Cabin: Legume: "First it was the Indians, then the Black man, now it's me."
Legume meets someone else

SUSIE'S CAMP
David Hope good line "I seen it, Sherrif" *  Susie's Altar*
The Dobbsamellolantern*
Susie's X-Day bumper stickers*
Inside Susie's tent with El Diablo
Someone Else at Brushwood

DOBBS DUMMY hanging by the neck in cabin
Jesus checks to see what's in Dobbs' pants .. finds a one dollar bill
where the dick would be. "No wonder he had to hang himself to come." 
"Bob" and Jesus dance sweetly. 

In Cabin: Susie displays the Wrestling Federation Toy Squirt Head that
looks just like Dr. Legume, gives Head to Legume. *

Susie displays her various Dobbs buttons, weird patches on her jacket --
"Den Mother Fucker"

Jesus dons His Robe 

Good CU Dobbs Effigy as Joe Tape plays.*

Riding with Brushwood owner on golf cart around Brushwood

SUSIE BY THE BRUSHWOOD GIANT SPIDER WEB -- CU of Susie's X-Day Spacemen
Postcard* and Elvis stamp;
Susie's Devils-Fucking shirt*, pulls $ for Stang from bra. 

Good Susie Spiderweb posing 
Susie & Stang discuss Squid *, discuss squid with Steve Slack, Lafe
Cowabunga: "Squid smell causes manatees to fuck wildly in mudpits..." 
GOOD squid audio quotes. 
Good CUs Susie's devil shirt.*, discuss nakidity...
Jesus on the road with Steve Checkie*
*Jesus seeks the masses, is raped by Susie... she washes his feet with her
hair... it isn't very absorbent... she demands high colonic via sodomy.
Feels up Jesus... picks up Jesus in her arms.*

Papa Joe Mama arrives.... Susie's Hot Pepper shorts* AMAZING Susie
Thrusting Tits shot, shot from below... ***

Friday Jones arrives... CU of her GOLDEN BRA, and her God is My Foundation
shirt. *

Kid Ginsu... Stang discusses how Brushwood owner, staff LIKE the SubGenii.
Think we are "nice" and "intelligent". We must do better... 

Legume and Joe Mama... misc. yak re new commercial website..."We will be
as Living Gods..." "But first we must loosen their clutch on their dollar
bills... Ginsu: ""Bob"'s so well hung that he requires a country for a
condom"... 

Andrew the Impaled arrives in car, 

Id McConville with the Giant Web. 

Jesus with Will, Susie at Sales Table on Porch -- Joe Mama rants re sales,
Icons... 
CUs of Joe Mama's Icon Paintings* , tapes, etc. Rev. ____ gets his soul
registered by Jesus. Sales Table shots. Someone else discusses Multi Age
teaching. Jesus applies the Electrified Armbands* to Bill Miller. Jesus's
gun displayed.

On campsite road:
DR. LEGUME TOY HEAD newly prepped by Legume -- you squeeze his head, the
blood runs out his mouth.* 2nd take of Head Squeezing good... Head flops
over and inflates. 

Susie arrives at SLC camp in green dress (!!!) -- The Legume Head draws
blood from her Tits. *  Legume on the Legume Head Bleeding Breast
Stimulator. Pours beer into Legume Head toy. Tongue-kisses Head.*

CUs of Rev. Matt's telemicroglasses....*  while Francis E. Dec tape plays in bg.

Pope Phred seeks inspiration from whiskey... on how J-1 hates him.* Meets
Mrs. Stang. 

Good Legume Head blood-spittle shots. 

Chunk of rotting human flesh in frying pan, crude shelter belonging to
Sexicutioner. Paranoia re: Sexicutioner lurking nearby. Dr. Varga and
Friday Jones share anxiety.

W/ Friday Jones at Evil OTO Altar -- Stang explains ritual
bloodletting/fornication to Friday. "First you take your clothes off, then
I rip your heart out and offer it to the sun god, then I fuck ya! It's
cool man!"

El Diablo's campground, Area 29.

** Susie applies her make-up outside the cabin... "The higher priced
spread." Susie does GREAT routine re: make-up, product testing. STUPIFYING
video sequence.

THE TIT ZAPPER
In cabin, Legume and Friday Jones experiment with The Zapper muscle stim
device in MWOWM sex; they both apply the Zapper pulse to Susie's breasts.
*

Porch Sales Area: Jesus tags in the free condom lady.* -- (misc. re: AstroGlide)

DCK pal displays Dobbshead tatoo... * discussion of skin grafts for
lampshades, which project Dobbshead on wall.

DEATH TO THE PINKS poster* on car.

Dr. Drummond arrives in van...  

Philo meets Floozie...

GOOD sequence w/ Susie at Demonic Altar in woods, with Philo and Ray
Hay*... Excellent Susie "Why you bend words over like a Senate page boy." 

Approaching Pavillion... Jesus reports to forming "crowd" on Fire Thief
who stole wood from pagans... Legume: "Put your money where your hands
are, people..."  makes the audience all show their wristbands.* Disclaimer
re: the candy is not poison...
Brushwood staff gal "Drum" brings child in... Little boy Corry says, "I'm
down with "Bob.""  Big crowd Eyiyiyiyi.  

FRIDAY NIGHT "SHOW":

JHVH HATES PHRED
St. @ndrew and Pope Phred
(long set-up ng stuff on orig tape.)

1. Taped intro... (solemn voice spacey thang)
2. Moving Hands (opens with Stang Intro barrage Con/JHVH-1 bit, w/ music)
-- cool audio collage. (Sound is somewhat muddy on video)
3. @ndrew intros band*... Funk Song w/ Phred dancing.... "You can't dance
to JHVH Hates Phred"... dual rant by @ndrew & Phred... 
(Zooms and CUs here)* 3:24   "That's just noise... rude noise..."  good
Phred Con rant and X-Day rant.... Phred spreads the bubbles blessing*
(This is where my mike was broken by a drunk and audio copy is fucked) 
4. Collage of "reactions to their last show" 
5. *"MAJOR "BOB"" "This is Ground control to Major Bob" -- sound is
probably best on video... good X-Day song! turns into Phred rant w/
Negativland Very Stupid clips.
6. "SHUT UP, NENSLO"  song
7. Dedicated to Negativland -- "The Xists Have Landed"  (CUs and zooms)*
Phred X-Day rant... excellent "health" rant -- "We're gonna die whether
those health nuts like it or not!"*     rant on time zones in the Soviet
Union...
8. "Incomprehensible Shit" (sound crack-ups on video, 3:45-- flip audio
tape) ... "Is your patience tried?" (Audio Show 1 side 2:) "Have faith in
Dobbs" repeat, subliminal messages. 
(Stang switches videotape)
9. "BOB" DON'T LIVE TODAY... (Henrix redoux, good improv rant in instru.
break) @ndrew sets legs on fire...* "Oh, there ain't no slack nowhere!"

Rev. Groovy G announces his pro-Legumian schizm away from the Father
Church. CU*  .... plug for So What zine...

Stang rant re Jesus now working for "Bob" -- (Jesus on stage too) --
discusses the Sunday morning 7 am drill... "we challenge Groovy G and all
schizmatics to a no-rules match.  Describes the Dallas contingent's visit
to the Rainbow Gathering, how full of LUV they were -- and what hypocricy.
How they think they'll defeat Babylon without MONEY. Improv rant on the
need for $ in fighting the Con, how you can't just "withdraw from the
world". Your faith in "Bob" proved by your MONEY. You can be the best SG
artist, you can give your children, but he needs your MONEY. How to fight
something as big as the Con? You don't need much brains to fake out the
Con, good thing for us... on the folly of bombing Federal buildings,
making a target of yourself. We need $ for nuclear weapons... we do have a
FEW, but need more. How many Disneylands are there? Sure, we could wait
two years, but let's try to impress "Bob" by making enough $ to buy the
Conspiracy from itself.  
How many here are Christians? Weirdos? Drug addicts? MILLIONAIRRES?? You
are saved but you have not been saving. Jesus saves; "Bob" invests... buys
low, sells high. Don't eat your seed... grow into a great thorn tree. This
is a Church of hate... here we are at Brushwood, great place... this land
has been purified and cleansed too many times with superstitious nonsense,
why don't we do 'em a favor and TAINT and SULLY the vibes... juicy
negative vibes for them to clean up. So... think bad thoughts...
concentrate your Hate... let your abrasive obnoxiousness bleed out into
the world. We try to be negative but yet at these devivals you hear too
much laughter..."  X-Day Drill is a city, woodstock mess...

Jesus introduces Bill T. Miller

BILL T. MILLER 1
*Bill casts the SubGenius Circle of Slack w/ golf club (CU*) 
*Turn on, tune in and Slack Off... 
*"X-Day's A-Comin' and the Pinks Are Bummin'"
*Bill describes all the Doktorbands that'll be here; don't know where
Janor is, but we can have a Janor Moment. "You gone burn" loop. 
"Are we just gonna wait for Slack?" Bill doles out Free Slack in form of
O.B.E. records.... gives line-up of preachers... great sfx.
"YOU RANG?"* "You called me from beyond? You'll never escape the eyes of
"Bob"..."
"This is so slack... "plugs his CDs, tapes. "SubGs are the tightest
fuckers with their wallets. We need Bobbies to buy our crap... "
*"X-Day's A-Comin' and the Pinks Are Bummin'" cont.
Shots of audience doing "The Pastor Craig Dance" (too dark for frame grab)
*Bill sets up intense controlled feedback "What's noise to some people is
music to others... why do you want to be normal when you can be a
SubGenius?" *
*"X-Day's A-Comin' and the Pinks Are Bummin'" cont. Rant on X-Day and Leary... 
People come up and give donations to Bill & Church... Jesus and Stang
start giving, and then others are shamed into giving... Craig gives $5...
we get a BobBuck, (GOOD CU w/ money*) ... a fropstick... a white cross
ephedrine... 
Hendrix rap...
Incredibly tasteless and stupid Craig line re "$85 will get you 85
blowjobs from SubGenius women," great comeback from Friday Jones: "...or
125 blowjobs from SubGenius men!"
Stang confiscates the drugs so the kids can't get 'em. 
More list of preachers ... 
Stang and Miller discuss the Pil that was donated. 
Things defocus... stalling... waiting for more ranters... Bill gradually
leads into Jam, talking about Pamphlet and how he never actually read the
books. LEGUME appears...


LEGUME warns crowd of local fundamentalists in the woods... "Subdue them
at once... also the mother of one of Rev. Stang's illegitimate children is
here... we'll be on top of the situation here..." (GOOD CU* Legume in
camouflage)

Insanely Cute Music from Pastor Craig's casio... Bill announces
free-for-all jam.  Very Wontanoid music starts up... Dr. Jim Charnitski
joins jam... @ndrew on guitar... Steve Slack bass. Bill calls for a
preacher. No one comes forth. 

Strange Snake Dance starts up.... 

(END VIDEO ONE)

****************

X-DAY DRILL REPORT Pt. 2

(VIDEO TWO starts here) (Fri. night continued)

Joe Mama announces that Rev. Stang has been kidnapped, hauled away by
leather clad woman with ATF tags...? (confusion -- video bad, sound good)
-- REMAIN CALM!  Joe Mama tries to maintain calm..... 

Cameraman heads off into woods. Gunshots heard off in dark. Searchlights
in woods. (Video very dark) 50:00  Cornering Anomie... 

Pagan leather-clad topless Anomie has Stang tied up behind
four-flushers...  SLAK squad disarms Anomie, holds her down... "Someone
jump on top of her!" -- Stang is freaking... Pastor Craig endlessly
hollers inside jokes, obscuring funny lines... Stang is helped up...
Anomie bursts free and attacks Stang again, "It's alright, she's just
disturbed." Stang asks if she should live or die. "Kill it." Legume blows
her away. "Jesus Christ... I was just kidding! I just wanted to scare her!
Legume, are you fucking NUTS?"  Jesus: "Everybody sign their waiver?"
Anomie, wounded jumps up AGAIN, shot again by Legume. (Video very bad...
sound good) "Drum" "rapes" Anomie. 

Stang: "Move along... it's over... she was just a poor crazy woman... it's
all right... go home to your tents and cell blocks... she's just a poor
sad crazy woman... it was just a satire... just like Mad Magazine.
Performance art, that's all it was..."  (THIS NEEDS HEAVY EDITING) 
(long blurry walk back to pavillion)

Back at Pavillion... Stang strives to calm down audience. 
Papa Joe Mama questions if this is the REAL Stang, tries to get him to
show the sacred birthmark. Stang challenges the Con spy to come forth.....
(very shaky video) 

JAM starts back up. Steve Slack, Bill Miller, Pastor Craig, BJ... pretty good!!
Audience dances insanely. *Susie the Floozy comes onstage, semi-strips and
dances! (Good CUs, etc.*) *Cool sinful footage. Susie gives each musician
"hit" of frop pipe... Bill plays The Living Keyboard with his golf club.
Rev. Matt, others bow down before Susie, she whips them with her doffed
clothing. Bill goes nuts with his alien sex orgy samples. (Then gets
visually dull.)Susie masturbates the golf club. 

Legume brings Anomie onstage, shackled... Rev. Stang's alleged assailant
in custody. "As an example we will show you how we deal with all who dare
cross the church..." *Starts to shoot her, she apologizes... "and that
makes it okay." She flees. "It was all just a drill..." Legume does rant
re: the Conspiracy abductions that would probably happen. "But next
time... it could be real! WHAT IF the ATF came, how many of you would be
burning your Membership cards when you see US hanging on the cross? Will
you be taking up your shotguns to avenge us? Or will you commit suicide
and join us in SubG hell? Time is a horny cellmate waiting for you to fall
asleep!* Your Memb Card is like a home made knife to smuggle out from
under your mattress....   Time doesn't fly by... Time flies away. Today we
meet and have fun... but 2 years from now, you better have the stomach for
the sight of blood. This isn't no candy-ass rapture... I will feel rapture
as my fingers crawl around the throat of the Conspiracy... Time is
ticking..." GOOD CUs!*  w/ gun.  "The streets shall run red with their
blood... all that they find sacred will be nothing but sex toys for us. 
They say that humanity is just two hot meals away from anarchy... let
those two hot meals be the cooling remains of their leaders"  GREAT
impromptu rant....   "We gotta make some NOISE to let the Xists KNOW!"
(Fires gun in air) We will cleanse this place of Love... sure the Normals
have their petty hatreds..." (good rant against normals) "... soon Disney
will make a movie about the black people who got their dream of coming to
America to pick cotton... "  good HATE rant... *"WHO shall sign the paper
that legislates HATE?  But what can we expect from them? They're... only
human."

DR. DYNASOAR
Killer X-Day rant... intense heartfelt impromptu rant. "Smells like
fish... tastes like chicken... SQUEALS LIKE A PIG!" etc.  *  On the
SubPresidential election... "ONE VOTE, ONE DOLLAR! They get one... we get
THOUSANDS! They won't be able to keep track of us! ... The Conspiracy
wants to love you to death!"

Stang praises all ranters, participants. 

Hideous/glorious JAM starts up again....

KID GINSU rant:
The Prima-Donna Project. "How many of you also wanted to get up here and
rant? How many thought, I'll be a SubG preacher? First you have to be a
SubG prima donna. All the greats were prima donnas... they have something
special. But to develop it you have to calm down... get down and ask, "Why
do I want to be a SubG prima donna?" For the slack? If you find a reason,
let us know. Through all history, people have needed the prima donnas, the
greats, to explain what it means to be alive, to exist. The Church is
committed to producing prima donnas... Let US tell you how. If you don't
want it, get started, send $ to PO box... As you get slack you'll lose
sight of your heroes... you'll be an equal with them. And it only costs
$30..." explains Prima Donna Project a little... "stop working, develop
abnormality... won't have to compete with Hendrix, Einstein or Pat
Benatar.... Keep up your hate, your love, strength, etc., KEEP IT UP!!" 

PAPA JOE MAMA rant re: Independence Day. * (Good CUs)
The nature of democracy and the Amer. Revolution... "Bob" gave his life in
1984... he CHOSE to allow that bullet to zigzag through his body several
times so he could die repeatedly for our freedom. It's independence from
the Con and the Pinks. What is our duty? More than to stockpile weapons,
grit our teeth, sharpen knives... to BEAR WITNESS. Our job is to WATCH
their sins because later, our great grandchildren will grow up free of
Pinks and will ask what it was all about... and they'll ask "Why did you
do it? WAS IT NECESSARY??" You must say YES, and explain to them WHY!
YES!!! YES!!!"...  on the movie Independence Day. "We WANT them to think
they'll repel the Xist invasion!"   On the credits : Doug Smith special fx
supervisor... "So let us join hands in remembrance. ..."

LEGUME on the movie... (Good CUs*) -- "If they have no hope, what is there
for us to CRUSH? And when they rally around the flag, we'll be able to get
a shitload of them with one shot. People have died for that flag... and
more will."

Great Miller FX.  Onan's "B.O.B." sing-along -- Andrew juggles fire in bg.
good sound on vid as crowd sings along, Susie shakes bosom. 

Dead moment.   Susie grabs mike: reads from minutes of the last meeting.


SUSIE THE FLOOZY rant:** Who is "Bob"? Great "Bob"-con rant! "He is the
foe of mediocrety and the champion of success... They have your slack but
they don't know how to use it!"  Describes the Squid... "them little
sucker cups.....
When "Bob" came along, he came for us! And he came again and again... and
I kinda lost count at that point cause I blacked out. Woke up in a puddle
of slack... (audio on vid OK but has too much crowd noise) -- don't come
to me when the saucer rays are welding your butt cheeks shut! We are all
here to give you something to slack off TO!"  

PASTOR CRAIG... Stang announces that we must turn sound down... the
farmers of Sherman need their Slack. They've enjoyed the preaching, but
they need sleep so we should keep it down... 

Pastor Craig preaches re: confession. Talk shows present people confessing
about dating their aunt, having affair with bridesmaids to cover up affair
with guys... Craig confesses he hates to rant. He doesn't hate the Pinks.
Can't hate the hated... and he hates it. Wrong type of hate. Who actually
hates? Why aren't there more haters? (Gets kinda lost). 

Rev. _____ comes up to rant:  "The enemy is a speed limit sign on an empty
highway at 3 in the morning! Something that gives you free speech but says
you can't yell FIRE in a crowded theater! SNAKES brought knowledge. Only
one way to defeat the Con. $30 to Dallas. Written right there next to the
fine print... That's one brick in the wall... 2 years from now, when we're
looking at that photo of the earth burning at the edges... DON'T GET IN MY
WINDOW SEAT!"

REV. MATT rants... What is HATE? (Audience supplies various answers.) What
is Slack? (TAPE RUNS OUT on video)



SATURDAY:

Susie, Ray Hay, Philo etc. in SLC camp, in a.m.... In Philo's tent.... 

Legume demonstrates SQUID outside cabin... *Legume attempts to hook the
Zapper up to the squid to make it twitch... discussion re: the Bobbies and
the Squid....GORGEOUS Cu of Legume's Susie. 

NUDE BAPTISM
Legume and Jesus conducting, in swimming pool with largely naked SubGenius
crowd. Baptisms of: Susie Penz, Steve tatooed guy, * SUSIE*,  Steve Slack,
Philo refuses, Ginsu is challenged, GREAT Susie nekkid shot, !!!! Jesus
baptises Legume, Rev. Matt, Kid Ginsu gives in, Legume challenges the
million spectators, False Steve with False Knock-off T-shirt ... Legume
chastises Rev. Strange... he gives in... Stang picks up Rev. Strange's
wallet, yanks change... crowd in pool chanting "PINKS" at spectators... 
Susie trying to lure them in... misc.... naked Stang strides in to
shower.... youthful frollicking... Stang gets baptised... "I see the
darkness!"  misc... naked someone else hops in... Sexicutioner...
Frankenstein... Legume baptises someone else. 
(Try fast-forward QT copy w/ Legume in center, people swirling around)
Brushwood staff climbs over walls to jump in. "Slack slack slack slack!"*
Toth baptised... Legume Legionairre from Richmond... David Hope... misc.
misc. John the Baptist... 
Stang announces that "you aren't to film the pagans, only the SubG..." 
(all this way too long) 
The golden rainbow showers... The water spout upside down.  El Diablo baptised! 

Outside Squid Tent: Tarla meets Will, Nickie while Stang preps the
Squid... Tarla and squid. ((CENSORED))

The "SQUID FUCK 50¢" sign.
CU the squid in the cooler.
Frop harvesting truck drives by... Stang discusses with Miller.
Legume in pavillion sets up Electric Arm Wrestling with the Zapper... 
SUBGENIUS ICE CREAM TRUCK -- "will trade for frop." *

Tarla yakking with Philo, Ray at campsite re her Ubangi mom(?) ... Tarla
meets Dr. Legume "It's all a game baybay." They compare pects. Legume
discusses upcoming execution.

*CU "REPENT" sign on Luciferian Liberation Front tent.


STUMP REMOVAL

Long shots of the 3 volunteers (Lou, 2 guys who never said their names)
fixing to move the Stump, Jesus in bg...  Lou shoots finger at camera
while Stang and Legume whip them on, make excuses... the pagans challenge
Jesus about whose Stump it is... long shot of Anomie hollering nekkid. 

The Rolling of the Stump while Stang narrates obnoxiously. Andrew the
Impaled arrives to help... Legume shouts "Help" just to hear the echo. 

Jesus discusses the Crucifiction scene to come... since there are only a
few from Akron, probably more will vote for Dobbs to die than Jesus.
(NEEDS HEAVY EDITING) -- Misc. tedious stump-rolling,  *Jesus assembles
the Cross upon which he may be recrucified, and how to nail right hand in
once left hand is nailed in... 
The helpers get the Stump into place, then Legume notices there were
already a whole bunch of logs there. Then Stang (good cop) explains that
those logs wouldn't do....
 ... fooling with log... Legume demonstrates his fake gun. Stang directs
execution shoot.


*EXECUTION SCENE  ((best video of whole weekend)

Shot from behind distant bushes, telephoto, shaky, Jesus walks by row of
tied-up kneeling cultists, points to one after another at random and
Legume puts a bullet through back of each head. When they're all fallen,
cameraman dashes off through bushes to escape (NOTE: send anonymously to
Bob Larson, 700 club)

*PRAIRIE SQUID DEMONSTRATION
Dr. Drummond and Stang outside Prairie Squid tent -- Stang demonstrates to
confused youth how to fuck a squid. Stang disappears in tent and sound
effects ensue. Stang comes out, smoking, zipping up pants... Stang, Philo,
Susie expound upon the joys of Squid. Youth interviews Stang, Drummond...
they fuck with his head. 

*Legume hangs the Dobbs Effigy in the pavillion while Susie comments...

Legume at sunset in the field, singing..."There's only one reason to bring
all the livestock together ... to bring them all to market."  Shots of
parachute frop drop.

SUSIE NEKKID at SLC camp -- *** Great image of Susie, red hair, red
fishnets,  with all red picnic benches, all green bg

*SWINGING LOVE CORPSES 1
INCREDIBLE SLC warm-up sequence (AUDIO tape is best) -- pan of audience
and then shakycam attachment to tripod... zooms on Susie's altar, misc.
wide shot of Corpses jamming..... Music GOOD!!!!  Lafe drops in a few fx
from The Living Keyboard. Fuckin' INCREDIBLE jam. Ray, Philo and Lafe at
best. Ray Hay masterpiece solos... before an audience of 10... Then Stang
changes mind, detaches from tripod and walks camera up to stage. ECU
Stang-cam wide angle flying close-ups of band, Lafe strikes studly
mindblown poses, Stang strikes Woodstockian camera angles. This might be
suitable for Toasterizing garish psychedelia... 

Break. Philo laments lack of drummer, singer.... laments the one drum
beat. Asks for new drum beat. (Shot of Andrew the Impaled bitching about
Stang camera)...  Wreck the Halls with Boston Charley. 

They launch into Pink Cover Tune Section, asking for requests: Stang
suggests:  PURPLE HAZE. Girl from Ipanema. 

(VIDEO TWO ENDS)
*******