Indian sunburn, monkey bite, throwing rocks at the elderly...Pastimes for the likes of Billy Quintaine and Johnny American. The two biggest jerks on the block. Why I can remember the they sodimized poor little Sally Rutley. The girl already had enough problems with the plastic foot and the glass eye. I must commend the boys though for breaking a record. I have never seen so many garden vegtables stuffed into one ass.

The way Billy Quintaine would carry around that tire iron and just fucking lay into people,like the time Old Man Curtis tried to tell Billy not to through rocks at the short bus, my god, I didn't think that a man in his late 80's could take 14 wacks to the head and still breathe and walk after two months in intensive care.

Johnny American walking proudly down the street in his pimp hat and "that right bitch" t-shirt made him look like a bad motherfucker. Flinging lit matches at baby strollers, having their momma's scream, "Don't burn my baby, Dont burn my baby!"

Yeah, those two fuckers are something.........

Dirt bike riding is fun, ain't it...specially when it ain't your bike an you can fuck it up as much as you like. Take Skeeter Johnson, for example he didn't have so much fun. At least not when he got his brand new dirt bike commendeered by the likes of Billy Quintaine and Johnny America. Skeeter had two options.......
1) Give up his bike
2) Have his arms broken for him and then give up his bike He opted for the third, to have Billy make him ride on the wheel of the bike and have his nuts crushed between the mudflaps and the back wheel.

"Tell it to the hand"..Johnny America would often tell people as he knocked out their teeth for them. "If you goddamn get shit on my white dress shoe, then I'll really make sure you make the list"-Johnny would tell people as he kicked in their ribs Friendly wholesome boys those two. Friendy honest fellows

People who made the Billy Quintaine - Johnny America LIST:

1) YOU
2) Anyone that speaks proper english
3) Anyone that owns a car
4) Anyone with a number in their first or last name
5) Randy Foster ESQ.
6) Luther "Farm-Hand" Johson-Vondi
7) People who don't smoke
8) People who don't get fucked-up 4 nights a week
9) People who don't break shit that ain't theirs
10) People who stutter when they're nervous
11) People who shit their pants when firecrakers are
are set off in their ass
12) People who get nose bleeds when they get punched
13) People who work at 7-11's who don't give Johhny
and Billy free shit
14) People who cry
15) People who abide by state laws
16) People who make LISTS

Johnny and Billy used to torture and inspire the mis-guided guys of Quintaine Americana during their formative teen years. The preceeding tales are flashbacks from the nightmares and and fond memories of QA bassist MARC.