X-Day Drill REPORT Pt. 5

((VIDEO FIVE))

(Video 5 available only to those 12 people who were there.)

SUNDAY

7:00 AM SERVICES
Only a Few Made the Cut:

Jesus
Friday Jones
Will O'Dobbs
Nickie Deathchick
someone else
El Diablo
Demonica
Pastor Craig
The Unknown Young Skullcap Guy
Steve Slack
Pope Phred
Sosodada
Tom Herr
Susie the Floozie
ID

*(KING OF SLACK was there, just missed the PILLS and a bit of RANT.)*

Stang, exhausted, butt dragging, takes stage before 15 people. 

Jesus pans camera over as Stang distributes the Pils ... birds chirp... 

70 pils represent the souls that will sleep through X-Day, those who think
it's just a funny little little joke. "OH, this is just a DRILL! I'LL STAY
HERE IN THIS NICE WARM SLEEPING BAG WITH THIS NICE POUNDING HANGOVER...
AND IT DOESN'T SAY YOU HAVE TO BE AWAKE TO BE RUPTURED.  BUT THEN... WHAT
IF, AT THE MOMENT OF TRANSLATION, YOU TRANSLATE INTO WHATEVER HORRIBLE
NIGHTMARE IS IN YOUR MIND WHILE YOU'RE HAVING D.T. NIGHTMARES... WHAT IF
YOU DREAM OF BEING CHASED BY NHGH IN THE MUD FOR EVER AND EVER... SOME
ETERNITY, HUH... SHIT TICKS NIGHTMARE... 

I'll let "Bob" be my alarm clock... 

Stang prepares for countdown...
gives pils to last minute attendees...

2 minutes... 30 sec... 2 years, 25 sec... rip your Pil open... cameramen
too... you are the chosen... 5 4 3 2 1 PIL!!! Eat the Pil... WHOA!! RIDE
THE SNAKE...
51 sec, a communal rush. That's how long the Rupture will take.

NEW DOCTRINAL REVELATION::

(((XXXX NOT TO BE REVEALED TO THOSE WHO DIDN'T THINK THEY NEEDED TO MAKE IT)))

"... but it's almost as bad."

Stang does 1-hour X-Day rant not for publication. Someone else models the
Susie the Floozie Official Shirt. Stang does a rather reasoned and sane
rant, maybe his only one, for almost no audience at all.

 ((TOP SECRET RANT for 67 minutes)) 

SECRET DISCUSSIONS RE: UFOs 
The basic truth behind the Greys... the actual relation to the movie
Independence Day. Stang's personal UFO revelations. Background secrets
about  Schwa... 

((CENSORED)))

What this Drill was about... that we be reminded of the seriousness...
that we create propaganda to make those who missed the Drill want to make
the next one. Think about all those alt.slackers who couldn't be prodded
out of their sleeping bags when push came to shove... all those
alt.slackers who couldn't quite make the simple, easy cut, because their
air conditioned comfort came first. They'll sit there waiting for the
mpeg. And some of you will disavow us a year from now when our deal comes
through...

(And Satan so loved the world that he amputated his horns and tail and
came down into the world of men..)

Clean-up... Susie walks off into the distance.

Jesus, Susie, last faithful take the Squid into the wilderness and cast it
free to swim in the ponds... at sunrise...
***Jesus commits squid to the pond... Susie weeps. Stang narrates. 
Susie still picking red squid hair from her teeth... hacks up pure frop
resin.... 

THE WAGES OF SIN in the wet grass: El Diablo's prune feet.

Jesus goes to clean up the cross after the crucifiction.... the holy
remnants have been stolen. A few bits of Dobbs flesh remain on the ground
as melted polystyrene. "We can sell this."  Jesus attempts to smoke the
burnt remnants... someone stole the Pipe... Jesus finds Dobbs tie shred.
CU brain, tie,  on stump... 
Bob's blue nut... he was frustrated, all along.

Jesus dismantles cross, avoiding nailing by ONE MORE YEAR, by "Bob"'s
grace. Jesus is thankful as sun rises... 

NOTE From Susie on outhouse door:  "Uh... never mind." 

Pastor Craig admits he thought it was 7:30.  (???!?!???!)

Betsy shows off her ugly doll with its dick.

endless stupid garbage as people leave... spaced out shit.

SALES TABLE as we pack up//// Legume dry-humps Friday, someone else...
hideous sex scene

3 pm: Lonesome Cowboy Dave arrives for the Drill.

Stang and Lonesome Cowboy Dave explore Brushwood by foot.... Dave gives
his excuses as the tape all runs out, everything unravels into tiredness
and nothingness as Stang brags about the coolness gone by....

Jesus and Dave help pack up to leave.... the awful spread of shit waiting
to be packed. 

((END VIDEO FIVE))

******************


HOUR OF SLACK #536, X-Day Drill #1


Log

((Version for sale is uncut (all cussing remains). COPY of this was edited
to make "clean" radio copies. Sales copies are closer to orig. tape.))



SIDE ONE

Stang intro with Outer Limits music bg, then SWINGING LOVE CORPSES first
warm-up jam from Drill:

"We're BACK from the X-Day Drill at Brushwood Folklore Center campground
in Sherman, NY; we're burnt, toasted, crisped... NOT from frapping,
unfortunately, but from recording, logging and dubbing, and crucifying and
baptising, and the Drill was from our standpoint a HUGE success -- we made
a little money, we learned what NOT to do on the real X-Day... We captured
TONS of good music and preaching, and we GAVE the BOBBIES their $25 worth,
in the form of Slack, violence, pils, naked male and female flesh, the
scourging of Jesus, and the Crucifiction of Dobbs. 

It was in fact SUCH an intense weekend that only about a dozen people were
able to drag themselves out of their hangovers for the 7 AM Sunday morning
Church Services and Simulation Rupture... we KNOW now who takes this stuff
SERIOUSLY, and... it ain't many. 

We are currently in the strenuous process of culling down the 10 hours of
tape into one 2-hour video and oh, maybe the next 3 Hours of Slack,
starting with this week's, #536, and there will be color pictures aplenty
on SubSITE of such wonders as:

The all-nude baptism in the swimming pool, conducted by Jesus and Dr. Legume;
Sister Susie the Floozie having her way with a Prairie Squid;
Dr. Legume mutilating his own FACE;
The Dobbs Effigy burning on a cross in the presence of NHGH, JFK, Satan,
the Greys, and the whole crowd;
The execution of one of my illegitimate wives following my kidnapping; 

and power-packed preaching and music by Rev. Bill T. Miller, The Swinging
Love Corpses, Papa Joe Mama, Susie the Floozie, Andrew the Impaled, St.
@ndrew, JHVH Hates Phred, Rev. Nickie Deathchick, Dr. Dynasoar, Steve
Slack, Sister Tarla Starr, Rev. Pee Kitty, and many many more.

There were free Pils, actual UFO sightings, suspense, nudity, weird
altars, sacrifices, dead folks, tons of sacred Dobbsgood for sale and ALL
TOLD, IT WAS A BLAST!!"

SWINGING LOVE CORPSES WARM-UP JAM INSTRUMENTAL

Drill Open: Jesus reports on Fire Thief who stole wood from pagans...
Legume checks armbands for payees... "Put your money where your hands are,
people..."  makes the audience all show their wristbands.

Stang (Jesus on stage too, Friday nite) -- discusses the Sunday morning 7
am drill... 

BILL T. MILLER THE KING OF SLACK
*"X-Day's A-Comin' and the Pinks Are Bummin'" cont. Rant on X-Day, and
Leary... "Turn on, tune in and SLACK OFF" SUPERB Millerian clip from Sat.
night. 

Stang Rant: (Friday night, Tape 2) describes the Dallas contingent's visit
to the Rainbow Gathering, how full of LUV they were -- and what hypocricy.
How they think they'll defeat Babylon without MONEY. Improv rant on the
need for $ in fighting the Con, how you can't just "withdraw from the
world". Your faith in "Bob" proved by your MONEY. You can be the best SG
artist, you can give your children, but he needs your MONEY. How to fight
something as big as the Con? You don't need much brains to fake out the
Con, good thing for us... on the folly of bombing Federal buildings,
making a target of yourself. We need $ for nuclear weapons... we do have a
FEW, but need more. How many Disneylands are there? Sure, we could wait
two years, but let's try to impress "Bob" by making enough $ to buy the
Conspiracy from itself.  

LEGUME in camouflage make-up warns crowd of local fundamentalists in the
woods... "Subdue them at once... also, the mother of one of Rev. Stang's
illegitimate children is here... we'll be on top of the situation here..."

PAPA JOE MAMA rant re: Independence Day. 
The nature of democracy and the Amer. Revolution... ""Bob" gave his life
in 1984... he CHOSE to allow that bullet to zigzag through his body
several times so he could die repepeatedly for our freedom. It's
Independence from the Con and the Pinks. What is our duty? More than to
stockpile weapons, grit our teeth, sharpen knives... to BEAR WITNESS. Our
job is to WATCH their sins because later, our great grandchildren will
grow up free of Pinks and will ask what it was all about... and they'll
ask "Why did you do it? WAS IT NECESSARY??" You must say YES, and explain
to them WHY! YES!!! YES!!! ... (if only people would leave me alone while
I try to log this shit!!!!) on the movie Independence Day. We want them to
think they'll repel the Xist invasion!   On the credits : Doug Smith
special fx supervisor... So let us join hands in remembrance. ..."

LEGUME on the movie... "If they have no hope, what is there for us to
CRUSH? And when they rally around the flag, we'll be able to get a
shitload of them with one shot. People have died for that flag... and more
will."

DR. DYNASOAR  & Steve Slack -- "BOB DOBBS THE MYSTIC SALESMAN" (to the
tune of Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner)

BILL T. MILLER 1
*Turn on, tune in and Slack Off... 
*"X-Day's A-Comin' and the Pinks Are Bummin'"


SIDE TWO:

"YOU RANG?" -- Bill T. Miller & Ivan Stang, Sat. night in hellish
collaboration: YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE EYES....


 Stang: "One of you here is working for the Conspiracy... don't spread
panic... The schedule is: 7 am Church services..." Legume: "10 people here
will die. Pray you are one of them..."  Stang on the democracy of the
event & stage... the Prairie Squid tent... Q&A re Squid... the Safe Sex
booth... 

LEGUME AND THE BREASTS OF "DRUM"
Legume in Priest Robes lets Drum (Brushwood staff gal) demonstrate BREASTS
to Bobbies. "These are called breasts. Many of you have never seen them
before today, and will never see them again after tomorrow. Don't feel shy
about staring... What sets her apart from you is that she's gonna get to
bed down a women tonight."

THE KIDNAPPING and KILLING
Strange Snake Dance wotan music, Joe Mama announces that Rev. Stang has
been kidnapped, hauled away by leather clad woman with ATF tags...? Joe
Mama tries to maintain calm..... 

Pagan leather-clad topless Anomie has Stang tied up behind
four-flushers...  SLAK squad disarms Anomie, holds her down... "Someone
jump on top of her!" 
-- Stang is freaking... "It's alright, she's just disturbed." Legume asks
if she should live or die. "Kill it." Legume blows her away. "Jesus
Christ... I was just kidding! I just wanted to scare her! Legume, are you
fucking NUTS?"  Jesus: "Everybody sign their waiver?" 

Stang on stage: "She was just a poor crazy woman... it's all right... go
home to your tents and cell blocks... she's just a poor sad crazy woman...
it was just a satire... just like Mad Magazine. Performance art, that's
all it was..."  

GREAT JAM MUSIC...  

LEGUME brings Anomie onstage... "Rev. Stang's alleged assailant is in
custody. As an example we will show you how we deal with all who dare
cross the church..." Starts to shoot her, she apologizes... "and that
makes it okay." She flees. "It was all just a drill... just a little
fun... " Legume does rant re: the Conspiracy abductions that would
probably happen. "But next time... it could be real! WHAT IF the ATF came,
how many of you would be burning your Membership cards when you see US
hanging on the cross? Will you be taking up your shotguns to avenge us? Or
will you commit suicide and join us in SubG hell? Time is a horny cellmate
waiting for you to fall asleep! Your Memb Card is like a home made knife
to smuggle out from under your mattress....   Time doesn't fly by... Time
flies away. Today we meet and have fun... but 2 years from now, you better
have the stomach for the sight of blood. This isn't no candy-ass
rapture... I will feel rapture as my fingers crawl around the throat of
the Conspiracy... Time is ticking... The streets shall run red with their
blood... all that they find sacred will be nothing but sex toys for us. 
They say that humanity is just two hot meals away from anarchy... let
those two hot meals be the cooling remains of their neighbors! Can I get a
Praise "Bob"?!"  GREAT impromptu rant....   "We gotta make some NOISE to
let the Xists KNOW!" (Fires gun in air) "We will cleanse this place of
Love... sure the Normals have their petty hatreds... (GREAT rant against
normal hate)... soon Disney will make that movie about the black people
who got their dream of coming to America to pick cotton... "  GREAT HATE
rant... "WHO shall sign the paper that legislates HATE?  But what can we
expect from them? They're... only human."


JHVH HATES PHRED song:  "MAJOR BOB" to tune of "MAJOR TOM" by David Bowie
(St. @ndrew and Pope Phred)

PO BOX

SUSIE THE FLOOZY Friday night rant: Great Bob-con rant! "He is the foe of
mediocrety and the champion of success... They have your slack but they
don't know how to use it!"  Describes the Squid... "...them little sucker
cups.....
When Bob came along, he came for us! And he came again and again... and I
kinda lost count at that point cause I blacked out. Woke up in a puddle of
slack... -- don't come to me when the saucer rays are welding your butt
cheeks shut! We are all here to give you something to slack off TO!" etc.

-- 
Copyright 1996 by Rev. Ivan Stang / 1st Orthodox Stangian 
MegaFisTemple Lodge of People's Covenant Church of the 
Wrath of Dobbs Yeti, Resurrected / The SubGenius Foundation,Inc. 
PO Box 140306 Dallas TX 75214 / Fax 214-320-1561 / PRABOB
http://sunsite.unc.edu/subgenius -- SubSITE of Slack